ASSERTIVE VERSUS HOSTILE COMMUNICATION

This lesson discusses assertive versus hostile communication. It draws on literature categorizing argumentative communication as a subset of assertiveness, and verbally aggressive communication as a subset of hostile communication. Clearly from the words used to define these various types of communication, we can discern that assertiveness may be more desirable, while hostile communication may be much less desirable to give and/or receive. In fact, the research literature in this area argues that assertiveness is constructive, while hostility is destructive to communication exchanges, relationships, and, in fact, even the self-identities of the participants.

In assertive communication, the speaker is interpersonally dominant and forceful, and uses assertiveness to achieve personal goals, while at the same time creating positive feelings in others. Assertiveness uses verbal and nonverbal cues to exert control, obtain justified rewards, and avoid violating someone else's rights. Sometimes assertive individuals might use cues in an aggressive manner, but in a socially acceptable one. When people are assertive, they stand up for, and express, their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in appropriate ways that are direct and honest -- and they don't violate others' rights. Assertive behaviors include openness, refusal of unreasonable requests, refusal to be intimidated, absence of interpersonal anxiety, initiation of requests, spontaneous expressions, outgoingness, and disagreeing actively, rather than passively. Some research claims assertive people are those predisposed to verbal behavior, as opposed to experiencing communication anxiety, and are precise, not easily persuadable, as well as contentious, which can sometimes mean overly quarrelsome. They also tend to be talkative, leave impressions on and are generally memorable to others who may communicate with them, and can hold their own in their interpersonal relationships. Assertive people defend their own beliefs, are independent , forceful, dominant, willing to take a stand, competitive, and are often leaders. This is considered a personality trait, but one which can be learned and improved.

Argumentative communication is considered a subset of assertiveness because, while all argumentation is assertive, not all assertiveness is argumentative. Argumentative individuals advocate positions on controversial issues and verbally attack other people's contradictory perspectives. In a word, it is an underlying motivation to argue. However, it is important to note that it is the person's position that is under attack in argumentativeness, and not the individual.