Discovering Patterns

Language patterns are important to us, especially the way in which we utilize our powers of speech. Identifying specific communication patterns in the words that people use, and studying their body language, will help you determine what people are thinking. By focusing your attention on the words people use, we can determine if someone is holding information back, stretching the truth, or even lying.

Small words to look for are "I" and "we." In a situation where a psychiatrist is asking his patient if he got along with his mother and he says, "We got along with her just fine," this should raise your suspicions. Usually someone who feels strongly about their mother would use "I" instead of "we." By using the word "we," it implies emotional detachment or distance.


When asking questions, you might also want to take note if the other person leans back in their chair or tilts their head back slightly before answering your question. This also says they are not comfortable with the question, or are not quite sure how to answer it. Sometimes they will even repeat your question before answering. This symbolizes an attempt at deception, or stretching of the truth.

Of course, facial expressions and eye contact are on the forefront of giving away what a person is feeling. These are generally involuntary motions that just happen. So, pay attention to the tone of the voice and what the facial expressions are while the other person is speaking. If your friend's voice is telling you she'd love to come to your eighth Tupperware party, but her face is saying something different, you know something is wrong.

These patterns tend to be typical of voice patterns and body language patterns. There are a number of things to consider, including the patterns of the eye, legs, arms, hands, head, and posture. It's fairly simple when you are trying to read a body language pattern, but when you mix words into it, you have to weigh them both to determine your outcome.

Body language can be described as a mixture of posture and bodily movement. Research shows that more than 70 percent of our communication is non-verbal when engaged in a face-to-face conversation.

Our body language discloses some of our deepest feelings and thoughts that we have tucked away. Mind you, this is out there for total strangers to see. In addition, nonverbal communication has a much greater impact and consistency than the spoken word. Therefore, if a person's words are not consistent with his body language, you would be wise to rely on the body language as a more accurate indication of his true feelings. how you are doing.

Try to remain aware of the non-verbal communication cues you are showing, and try to keep them positive. Try to remember to smile frequently, keep your arms unfolded and legs uncrossed.

People generally try to create peace and harmony around them. You can make someone feel at ease by duplicating his body language. By doing what he is doing, he will feel more comfortable talking to you. They will not normally notice you are doing this, either. It will help them feel more relaxed and open with you.


An effective way to begin duplicating another person's body language is to try smiling when they smile, or nodding your head in agreement when they nod their head. By leaning in toward him, you will imply that you are very interested in what he has to say. By paying attention to the patterns, and understanding the meaning behind other people's body language, you will help develop meaningful relationships and minimize friction within your long-time relationships.