Using Body Language to Your Personal Advantage

Most people automatically look at body language as a means of reading others, but it is much more than that. In being aware of what signals you are sending out with your body, you can have an important advantage in many situations. The situations vary depending upon your lifestyle and daily routine. You may frequent the gym and have always said hello to a certain lady that you like. She never says hello back, but just waves an arm at you with a half smile. How do you walk into the gym? Do you have a nervous habit of biting your lips or rubbing your nose? This can come across to her as a sign of being untruthful. You are biting your lip because the winter has caused your lips to become chapped and peeled, and you are rubbing your nose because you have allergies. Unfortunately, the lady in the gym doesn't know this. It is for reasons such as these that you should, at all times, try to be self aware of what your body is saying.


If you are in a job interview situation, your goal is to get hired. That is the bottom line. You know the basics already. You wear your best suit, make sure your shoes are polished and not scuffed, your hair is tidy, and you are well groomed. The part you will need to be conscious of is what your body is saying. When you sit in the chair across from the employer make sure your feet are planted firmly on the ground. This helps with the position of your shoulders. If your legs are crossed at the ankle, your shoulders can tend to look slouchy. Don't fidget with your hands and don't tap your foot or shake your legs. Be sure to make direct eye contact. You can fold your hands in your lap, unless you are taking notes. If you are taking notes, don't tap your pen on the paper. Place the pen firmly in your hand when writing and place your palms down on the paper (with the pen still in your hand) during breaks from writing.

You want to avoid wearing jewelry that might be too gaudy or glittery. Jewelry that makes noise is also something you should leave at home. This can cause a distraction during the interview. Make sure you don't have tons of loose change in the bottom of your purse or in your pockets, as this can make a lot of noise, too. Aside from the noise, bulk can be a distraction, so if you have bulky items in your pocket, remove them prior to the interview. Leave them at home or in your car.

First impressions are pivotal. You are being sized up before you even open your mouth. It begins the moment you step into the lobby and encounter the receptionist or other employees passing through the lobby. In fact, it is not uncommon for hiring managers to ask the receptionist for their impression of you, even before the interview begins. Remember, a solidly run firm usually operates as a family unit. They become very close as they work together day in, and day out.

You want to present yourself as friendly and easy to work with. Nod frequently to show that you understand what they are saying. Asking questions is also a good way to show that you are paying attention. Even if you repeat what they said by saying, "So, what you are saying is ___________?" This shows that you have not only paid attention, but the words sank in.

The touching rule is different in interview situations. When you first meet a new person and are told, "This is the guy that led the team to the championship this year." You pat him on the shoulder and say, "Great job. I heard about that. It's very nice to meet you." In an interview, you should never touch the employer and he should never touch you. There would be very few situations that would break this rule, like interviewing to be a palm reader or a massage therapist.

This, of course, doesn't include the handshake. That is mandatory. Remember from the earlier lessons that the handshake needs to be firm and solid. Try to extend your hand first to show excitement. Keep your arm straight out and your elbow locked. Grab the other hand firmly, but not too hard and shake in short, firm bursts. Look them directly in the eye as you are shaking their hand as a sign of respect and then have a seat. If you are not used to shaking hands, you need to practice. Don't wait until the day of the interview and go over it in your mind. You should probably get together with a friend or family member and practice shaking hands until you get it right. Unfortunately, there is no other way to practice, as you need a live person on the other end to tell you how you are doing.

It is no secret that the virtual office is growing at a very fast pace. People conduct their daily work activities from the comfort of their own homes. For most employers who hire the virtual professionals, occasional face-to-face meetings are required as well. This helps to discuss projects, keeps the relationship fresh, and provides for a more in-depth feel of the meeting (as opposed to meeting over the phone). You can use this to your advantage by suggesting a place in which to conduct the meeting. You can meet at a coffee shop, the library, or even the park. Try to pick a quiet place where you can both hear one another and can communicate effectively, without a lot of background noise or commotion.


Get there early, so you can set up for the meeting. Get yourself a cup of coffee, use the rest room, check your teeth to make sure there is no food stuck between them, etc. Pull out your notebook (or notebook computer, if you are in a place that has a wireless connection), and look busy. When your employer walks in be sure to smile and nod to gesture openness and respect. Ask him if he wants to get a coffee before you start. He may tell you that first, but you can make a judgment call on that one. Stand and extend your hand for him to shake when he approaches the table, and then sit down. Remember, this is still a professional meeting, even though you are not in an office or boardroom. You don't have to sit as though you are in a classroom, but you want to remember the basics.

Don't fidget, don't tap your fingers or feet, look him directly in the eye, and show him respect by nodding every once in a while to acknowledge your understanding.

The most important rule for making your body communicate effectively is to relax and be yourself. Put your best foot forward and make the most of the situation. Use your skills to your advantage and you will have the advantages.