How to Read Body Language

There are many reasons why it is good to be able to read body language. It's one thing to hear what others are saying, but it's what they are not saying that is really important. Body language can help you determine if the other person's words are conveying his or her actual meaning. For example, in a job interview. you might think you are doing a great job and think the employer really likes you based on his words. But, when he doesn't call you back for a second interview, you will wonder what went wrong. If you had the skill to read the interviewer's body language, you would have known things weren't going well during the interview and could have attempted to turn the conversation in your favor.

Here are some examples of body language and the meaning behind the action.

• If someone is not making eye contact with you it's probably a sign of embarrassment, anxiety, or irritation.


• A clear sign of nervousness is when someone taps their foot on the floor, or taps their fingers on the table. This can also be a sign of boredom.


• You can tell if you are invading a person's space, if you find them backing away from you, or turning their head away from you. In some cultures, like China and Japan, this is acceptable behavior. In these countries, when people board a subway or bus they bump into each other. This is acceptable behavior and apologies are not necessary.


• If a person crosses their arms, it can mean a couple of different things. First, it's a defensive act, almost as if they are putting an invisible wall between themselves and others. This can also be mistaken for someone who is cold and they are simply crossing their arms for warmth. So, don't always jump to conclusions.


• When someone is sitting, sometimes you cannot see the legs, because they are under a table. If you can see the legs and they are open, or apart, it's a sign of relaxation and openness. If the legs are crossed it can mean the person is closed.

• Hands are another indicator of body language. If a person's hands are clasped together it can mean they are agitated or anxious, even angry. If their palms are open, facing up on the table while they are talking to you, it means they are confident in you and trusting. If they rub their hands while they are talking to you, it can be a form of anticipation; for example, they have an important meeting to go to after leaving you.


• If someone is touching their face by either rubbing their nose, chin, or eyes while talking to you, it can be an indication of deception. Look into their eyes and see if they make eye contact. If they tend to look down more than they look into your eyes, they are probably not being truthful. Again, they could have allergies, which would cause the rubbing of the nose and eyes, so be careful in your assumption.


• Biting the nails is a sign of insecurity. You can also look for signs of biting the lips and tugging at the ears, which are both signs of indecision and insecurity. They probably don't even know they are doing this, but your trained eye can spot this instantly.


• A confident person will most likely be sitting up straight, eyes forward, and feet firmly planted to the floor. Their shoulders will be straight, and they will have their full focus on the speaker. Sometimes you will notice them put the tips of the fingers of one hand against the tips of the other hand. This is a sign of a truly confident person. You may encounter this during an interview from the employer. This is a good sign, because you don't want to be working for someone who is not confident in themselves or their firm.


• Facial expressions are also easy to read. It is also easy for us to use facial body language involuntarily. We frown when we are not happy with something and smile when we are. Tight lips can mean that you are holding yourself back from saying something that might be offensive to another person.


• Shaking hands is very important in reading body language. People generally extend the hand they write with, but people in business understand that extending the right hand is almost always the case. You will find left-handed people have mastered the shaking of the right hand for this purpose. You should always offer your hand palm out vertically, not up or down. This creates the feeling of equality. Palm up would signify submission and palm down would signify domination. Squeeze the hand, but not hard, and make sure your elbow is locked in place. You don't want a flimsy loose handshake, as it is a sign of insecurity.


• Only a small percentage of the spoken word communicates what we are actually trying to say. The unspoken word makes up the rest.