Body Language Varying by Group

As adults, we don't think about our body language all the time. However, if you are an adult with children, somebody is watching your body language -- your child(ren). From the time they are babies, children imitate what you do. You smile at your baby and he smiles back. If you make a habit of patting your child on the back for comfort, he will do that in return (this usually happens around the toddler age). This is also the time they begin to use hand gestures in conjunction with facial expressions. When we praise our children, naturally they smile and feel good about themselves. Parents who are more "touchy" with their children (rubbing their heads, kissing them, hugging and holding them), tend to have more affectionate children, especially if this continues into their teen years. While your children may not allow you to nurture them in front of their friends, you will probably find that they have no problem with it when you are in the privacy of your home.

Also, as children grow from babies to toddlers, their use of pointing and grunting starts to diminish as they begin to learn how to form words. Even so, gestures, such as pointing, actually help to develop a child's communication skills. When they point to a toy and you retrieve it and hand it to them, they feel as if they accomplished something, because you understood exactly what they were saying to you. Even a simple smile or other show of praise will provide the positive reinforcement that a child needs.


Making eye contact is extremely important. Because babies tend to fixate on their parents' faces, it is important that you begin making eye contact with your child from the moment they are born. They explore the whole face, including the eyes. When you put your face close to the baby's face they tend to lift their arms up to your face. When you gaze into their eyes and smile at them, they smile back. So, in essence, a child does not have to be born with natural body language skills. They learn everything from you, and mirror your actions and gestures.

Babies have a natural yearning to communicate. We, as parents, tend to use our body language and gestures to get them to understand what we are saying to them. When they understand, we praise them, clap and cheer. Naturally, this pleases them and they want to learn more. And, so the cycle continues as they grow and learn about the world around them. It starts in the home and then, as they grow, it carries over onto the playground, in the backyard, or the park around the corner, and school.

This is used to instill a schedule and rules with your child. They don't always understand the reason behind what you are saying to them, but if you use both words and body language, they will feel more secure about what you are saying. It helps to form a strong bond between parent and child, as well as maintaining the schedule you desire.

Reading your child's body language is pretty easy for parents (and anyone else around at the time). If they come running up to you with their arms crossed, a pout on their lips, and stomp their feet, it's obvious they are upset about something. When you are reading them a book and they have lost interest, they simply walk away and find something more interesting to do. By using your hand gestures and changing your voice to fit the characters, you will be successful at holding their attention.

Feelings are expressed through body language, especially in children. It is their primal instinct to react to different situations by using body language, even when they can speak in complete sentences. They find it of great importance to smile and flap their arms in the air when they are happy, or stomp their feet and frown when they are sad. You may be busy working on your computer and your child feels momentarily neglected. This will bring about a body language surge on their part and they will usually make it clear to you without using words that they feel neglected.


You want to remember that no matter how busy you are, take the time to turn to your child and look them in the eye. This can be very difficult for busy adults. Negative body language (not looking at them when they are talking to you, or ignoring their question because you are busy), creates problems with the child. Trying to use your body language to focus on them will help build confidence and self esteem in them. Even if you focus on them for a moment, explain to them that you need five minutes of work time, and assure them that you will be with them as soon as you are finished, you will have acknowledged them and shown them that you care about what they have to say.

If you don't practice this positive body language you will most likely find that your child will purposely create distractions in order to get your attention. These will not be pleasant and you will more than likely get upset and forget all about your positive body language. It's a losing situation for both of you.

It takes practice, but if you go about it in the right manner, in time you will see grand improvements in your child's behavior and self esteem. We all want our children to go out into the world with their heads held high and the utmost confidence in themselves. We can make this happen for them by starting early.