People send and receive nonverbal messages and signals all the time without even knowing it. In the grocery store, you may see a woman pick up a green pepper and frown. She's not aware that the signal she's sending out is one of disapproval. Some people see it and some people don't. These signals may indicate what a person is truly feeling. The technique of "reading" people is used quite often. For example, we teach our children from an early age to look people in the eye when speaking. Children tend to look up and down, everywhere except into the other person's eyes.

Maintaining eye contact is an indicator that the person is positively thinking about what is being said to them. In other situations, it can mean that the person doesn't want to take his eyes off the other, which can mean a sign of distrust. A person who makes direct eye contact, but plays with the chipped paint on the table at the same time, or plays with his hands, may not be really paying attention to you; he's distracted and his attention is elsewhere. There are also those individuals who have been diagnosed with an attention deficit disorder and cannot continuously maintain eye contact; they are simply unable to do this. So, you don't want to make a hasty judgment without considering all of the factors to the situation.

The most basic and dominant form of body language occurs when a person crosses their arms. This particular gesture can be interpreted in many different ways. Sometimes it can mean they are putting up a wall between themselves and others, sort of like protection. It can also indicate they are cold, and are crossing their arms for warmth. Maybe you are in a business meeting and the man across from you crosses his arms. This doesn't always mean he's trying to put a barrier between himself and the speaker; rather, it could mean he's listening intently and taking in all of the information. On the other hand, it could be looked upon as a warning signal that the person is very upset. If he is leaning back in his chair and has a frowning or callous expression on his face, this may be a good indicator of hostility. Such a person is not an ally, and may have controversial motives.

Disbelief can be indicated by a gaze that wavers around a speaker's head instead of looking them directly in the eye. When someone rubs their chin or touches their ear, this can also mean they don't believe what is being said. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, their attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.

You will know right away that you've encountered a bored person, as they will be looking at anything but the speaker. They are likely to tap the table with their fingers or tap their feet. Sometimes they do this repeatedly. You will most likely see them looking around the room from the speaker to the clock on the wall and back again. They might fidget in their seat, play with their hands, or tilt their neck.



The important thing to remember is how to read a person's body language. You don't want to misdiagnose a certain message or signal, because there are other factors that come into play. These other factors are things you are not always aware of. For example, the man who you think is bored is tilting his neck and keeps looking at the clock; he may have a stiff or sore neck and is having a hard time sitting through the lecture. He's looking at the clock to see how much longer he has to endure his situation.

There are also cultural differences in people that could lead to a misunderstanding of body language, so be careful about your analysis and consider all of the factors first.

By enrolling for this course, you have demonstrated your interest in understanding body language. And you are not alone. There are many people who are fascinated by the idea of being able to read someone's body language once the concept is introduced to them. One of the things that may surprise people is that body language, or nonverbal communication, makes up more of what we usually say than does verbal language.