Modeling Behavior
One of the easiest ways to be a good listener is to put yourself in someone else's shoes. How would you want the other person to act while you were speaking? If, for example, you were giving a company sales demonstration at a meeting, would you want those in attendance to be checking cell phones, coming and going from the room, and doodling as you were speaking?
Most likely not because it would be a pretty good indication that your words were being lost and your time was being wasted. You would want to look out and see a room full of people who had open body language, were making eye contact, and were open to asking questions once you finished.
Think about the type of listener you want on the other end when you are the speaker. Then aim to be that type of person when it is your turn to listen.
Also, if you feel you need to take notes as you are listening, that is fine. Most people can tell the difference between someone that is taking notes out of interest in what is being said and someone that is drawing stick figures out of boredom.
Did You Know?
Making eye contact is considered a good thing in the West, but not everywhere in the world. There are some Asian and African countries, for example, that shun direct eye contact and would interpret it more as rude behavior or possibly even aggressive. Also, some people that suffer from social anxiety disorder may have a difficult time being able to make eye contact with people. If you have difficulty making eye contact, try allowing your eyes to be slightly out of focus when you are looking at them, or choosing a spot right above their eye or their nose. This way you will give the appearance that you are making eye contact, while working on becoming more comfortable with it at the same time.
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