Verbal communication - like most styles of communication – depends heavily on the individuals taking part in the conversation. We all know what we mean to convey within our own minds. However, our attempts to translate thoughts and emotions into words are often fraught with misunderstandings.

The most important thing to remember is that a miscommunication is not any single person's fault. Because each person bring his or her own personal experiences, beliefs, and perceptions into any communication arena – whether it is interpersonal communication or a public speaking venue – there is no way that verbal communication can ever be a streamlined, consistent process. The sooner you accept this idea, the sooner you can begin to increase your ability to accurately convey meaning.

The next time a misunderstanding arises (or, indeed, before you attempt to have an important conversation), write out each of these components of oral speech. Consider how you did (or plan to) use each of these components. Where are the potentials for difficulties? What is your own personal weakness? How can you better use each component to your own advantage?

Rhonda Jones was recently promoted to a supervisory position in the doctor's office where she works. Her promotion was based largely on her years of experience with the company as well as her strong work ethic.

In her previous role with the company, Rhonda was largely responsible for answering phones, talking with patients, and making schedules. She communicated with patients and their families on a regular basis, and always prided herself on her ability to put people at ease. In her new position, she transitioned to a larger role coordinating other employees (and less of a role with patients).

From the beginning, Rhonda had difficulty getting the other office workers to treat her with authority. When she would ask them to complete a task, they would often agree to her face and then fail to follow through. Rhonda felt as though they all waited until she left the room to talk about how awful she was in her new position.

Rhonda, upset with her new job, considered going to her boss to see if the promotion could be reversed. However, before she set an appointment to talk with him, she realized that he always held quite a bit of authority in the office, even though he, too, had been promoted from within. She decided to listen to him for a few days to determine what, if anything, he did differently.

Right away, Rhonda noticed that her boss used a much different tone of voice than the one she herself used. He was authoritative without being stern, and he was always direct in his requests. His word choices were a little bit more complex than hers, even though Rhonda felt sure that their vocabularies were on equal terms.

Rhonda then noted her own communication patterns. Accustomed to talking to distressed patients, frantic families, and irate bill recipients, Rhonda had since adopted a tendency to speak in soothing, calm tones. She explained things in detail using the simplest terms possible. When confronted with someone reacting inappropriately, Rhonda was somewhat condescending in her inflection.

Rhonda realized that her new subordinates were reacting against the way she spoke. They felt that she underestimated their intelligence and their ability to work independently. By changing her verbal communication patterns to reflect that of a competent supervisor speaking to equally competent coworkers, Rhonda was able to overcome much of the animosity the others felt toward her.

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Verbal Communication

How to Use Verbal Communication Effectively