Recognizing and Understanding Communication Styles

Assertive Communication

The most effective communication style is assertive communication. This includes really sharing opinions as well as advocating for one's own rights. Unlike the Aggressive Communicator, though, this person will not trample on the rights and opinions of others. Assertive Communicators are able to balance a respect for themselves with a respect for others.

Many of the tactics employed by Assertive Communicators will be covered throughout this course, but some of them include things like using a calm, clear tone of voice, actually interacting with others, not interrupting, avoiding manipulation (either manipulating others or being manipulated), using good eye contact, and remaining in control of one's self. This leads to communication that is a two-way street, and the Assertive Communicator is likely to garner respect from those around him or her. This also allows for growth, as everyone involved is allowed to hear different opinions and share their own thoughts and ideas.

The Assertive Communicator will often say things like:

• I hear what you're saying.
• I would appreciate it if you would . . .
• How can we work this out?

Assertive communication is also the best choice because it avoids a lot of the emotional outbursts that are prevalent with the other types of communication. It is easier to solve problems when they do arise. It can be difficult to stay on track, however, especially when dealing with different types of communicators. It is important to avoid getting defensive and to try to remain as objective as possible. It is possible that someone else's idea really is better than yours. On the other hand, it's possible that you have the best idea in the room, and the Assertive Communicator will advocate for it.

If communication is just getting shut down, the Assertive Communicator may have to stop the conversation and pick it up another time when tempers aren't flaring. It's best to validate the other people's experiences and feelings by saying things like, "I can see why you feel that way." This means that the Assertive Communicator must also be willing to hear what others have to say, and it's possible that others will have good points. This type of communication is effective because both parties are willing to look at themselves and change or compromise when the situation calls for it.