Negotiation

Compromise

One of the obstacles that often holds us back from being good at advocating for ourselves is the ability to be assertive. Honing this skill is invaluable when it comes to being an effective communicator because it ensures that your thoughts and ideas are being heard.

Being assertive means speaking up for yourself, but not doing so to the exclusion of others. In negotiations, it is unlikely that everyone is going to walk away from the table with exactly what they want. Instead, there is a need to compromise.

The word "compromise" is often misused. If you give in on all the points that you wanted so that someone else could get their way, this is not a compromise. In a situation where compromise happens, each party must give up something so that the basic interest of the group can be served. However, there are exceptions to this definition. In the United States, compromise is seen as a situation where both parties lose something, while British interpretation sees this as a situation where both parties win something. To compromise also means to reestablish goals and desires in order for an entire group to come to agreement. It requires a high degree of communication skills to be done correctly.

Considering Everyone's Needs

In order to come out on the other side of a negotiation with as few bruised egos as possible, it is really important to take everyone's needs into consideration. An effective communicator will do this for two reasons.

1. He or she wants all of the available information to make informed decisions.
2. He or she wants others to recognize that they are being considered in the process.

Active listening is incredibly useful during negotiation. When someone insists that they want a certain demand met, you are able to ensure that you truly understand what they are saying. This keeps you from misunderstanding and perhaps agreeing to something you did not intend. The process of active listening can also soften a person's position toward specific demands. Sometimes just having their concerns heard and recognized is enough, and they no longer feel that every aspect of their demand is necessary in the final compromise.

When Negotiation Fails

One of the most famous forms of negotiation is the car deal. You tell the salesperson you're interested in a certain model, and he or she gives you the price. You think the price is too high and tell the salesperson that. He or she explains why the price has to be that high and then goes off to "talk to the manager." After a couple of visits to the manager, you are probably driving off in a new car.

But, what if the price never did get down to the level you wanted? At this point in time, the negotiation has failed, and it is likely time to walk away. This can be very difficult, as you may have really, really wanted the car.

Additionally, the salesperson has been trained in how to negotiate with you in a way that will make you most likely to purchase the vehicle before all is said and done. You may not be able to negotiate as well as the salesperson, so you therefore lose out on a potentially good deal.

Any type of negotiation has potential to fail. There are a number of reasons why talks can break down. You must decide where you draw the line and walk away. This can be incredibly difficult, depending on the situation. While turning your back on a new car is hard enough, turning your back on a relationship or a job can be even harder. Again, it is a matter of deciding what you can and will compromise on in a negotiation.

Negotiation really can be considered an art. Like writing, you must choose your words wisely. Like dancing, you must learn how to lead and follow. And like painting, you must determine when to add and when to let well enough alone.