Disagreements and Conflicts

Avoiding Conflict

Always avoiding conflict can be a sign of a Passive Communicator. This is true only if you take your conflict avoidance to an extreme level. For example, allowing your co-worker to dictate when you get your lunch break to avoid a daily disagreement might be acceptable, as long as you are not physically affected by the issue. However, allowing your co-worker to tell you that you may not leave early to attend to your sick child because it will infringe on her scheduled lunch break is not acceptable, since it represents a bullying situation rather than a conflict of interests.

The concept of bullying versus a conflict of interests is central to understanding how to cope with disagreements. People are all different: they have different backgrounds, cultures, world views, and beliefs. No matter how hard you try to avoid conflict altogether, it will never be 100 percent possible. However, having divergent opinions and views is one thing – forcing those opinions and views is another. When someone in a team dynamic (or even in one-on-one relationships) oversteps the boundary between having differences and forcing differences, the conflict has become unhealthy and needs to be addressed.

Fostering Healthy Conflict

For many businesses and interpersonal relationships to function smoothly, conflict avoidance may need to give way to healthy conflict. In healthy conflict, differences are shared and encouraged, as long as respect plays an equally starring role. It can take time to develop an atmosphere of healthy conflict, but the reward of a strengthened relationship or team dynamic can prove invaluable.

Set Clear Boundaries

Determine ahead of time what constitutes "bullying" or going too far. In a formal business setting, you may even want to go as far as to commit these guidelines to paper. By setting boundaries and making sure everyone understands them, you can create an environment wherein everyone feels comfortable being themselves, since they know the situation won't escalate to an unpleasant scene.

Respect Above All Else

In a healthy conflict environment, differences and disagreements are respected. Personal attacks, name calling, belittling remarks, and otherwise juvenile behavior should be kept far removed from the situation.

Encourage Divergence

Accepting conflict is a new concept for many people. You may need to reinforce the idea that conflict is not only accepted, but welcomed. Give people time to get used to the idea and comfortable with speaking up and sharing divergent opinions.

Offer Recognition

Give a simple thanks to those who are willing to share their views and opinions in the new setting. This can work in businesses through formal benefits or in personal relationships simply by saying, "I appreciate your sharing your thoughts with me."